Dear Life …

A thought about money brought me closer to wondering whether this whole thing can be worse than a betting game. I heard some of you are asking me – “what thing?” Well, “Parenting” is my answer.

I was trying to sleep and counting my blessings and sending some vibrations of love to my parents who are islands away. Then it struck me, here I am praying for them but in actual fact what have I given them physically? Hmm … good question … answer is … so far … nothing. Not-a-thing. Money? They gave me more. Care? They out-win me. Pride? Oh, come on, I can’t even stand on my feet yet. So, why on earth I’m a child to them? Why do I ever exist? Another good question that’s worth pondering at

12.35AM

.

Throughout these 24 years I’ve experienced ups and downs with my parents, I believe most of us did too. Do you remember when we had a mind of our own and they would shun it and told us off and we found it ridiculous that they couldn’t see our points of view? Or, those moments when you thought something was so cool and yet they told us it’s a No No. I remember those.

I remember how I’d use my debating skills to defend my opinion and to prove myself right. I remember how I’d slam the door and ignore their yelling outside. Then suddenly I remember them sending me off to university with their hard-earned saving. And I remember their concern when I got diarrhea in

Singapore

when they couldn’t do anything to alleviate my pain as they were miles apart. I remembered the proud looks in their eyes when I finally graduated. I remembered their acceptance arms when I only landed in a lousy paying job and couldn’t afford to give them any money back. I remembered so many things … and all sum up in one word.

I remember "Love".

Why are they doing these to me? Why have they given so much and yet not asking anything in return? I saw other kids have paid tickets for their parents traveling session. And my parents didn’t ask for anything and till now they still give and give despite of the distance. Why? How do they do that?

If this is a betting game, this is worse than any lottery. It’s a bet with unknown return. At least when you pay for $1 ticket you are hoping to win $1,000 in prize. That’s 1000x in returns but parenting is worse than betting. It’s uncertainty. It’s mystery. It may come back with negative return even. Giving so much and yet still have to give when the kids still can’t stand on their own but yet, they still “bet” on us. Paid the doctors and hospital for labour process. Paid for schooling. Paid for food and housing. Paid for comfort and entertainment. Give … give … constant giving.

What are they betting for?

Parenting seems to be a unique betting game. It’s an unconditional one. What more can I say, parents are the greatest human beings ever alive. Despite the arguments, deep down in our hearts we know they are irreplaceable precious treasures of our lives.

Some of us may not be able to give a very good return for what they have “bet” on us. But the most we can do is to be there when they need us. To love them constantly and unconditionally despite of their weaknesses. To remind them that we love them and they are always in our hearts. To care for them when they are not able to care for themselves – just like how they cared for us when we couldn’t even walk.

I love you, mum and dad. What more can I say. You are the best parents I’ve ever had and Kiky has ever been proud of too. If there’s a next life, I would want to choose you as my parents again. It’ll be my honour.

In the end, it ain’t no betting game. Because it is love! No expectation. No conditions.

Thank you, mum and dad. Now I understand why you can’t stop giving. That’s simply the nature of love.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 22nd, 2005 at 10:04 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.